Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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