Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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