spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
