i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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