last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
