found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Panties = found
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
