why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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