She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
