Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
