Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
