if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
