i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
