Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
