do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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