Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
