I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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