Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
