Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
