wrigley field is MILF paradise
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
