i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
