It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
