worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
