doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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