Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
