I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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