My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
