he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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