i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
