her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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