Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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