You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
