In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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