just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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