he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
