It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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