Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
