I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
