i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
