Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
