good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
