This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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