people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The power of my boobs compel you
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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