She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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