glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
