my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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