No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
