is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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