It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
