rhymes with "ouble enetration"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize