he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
