my soul wont recognize me after tonight
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
