32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
