Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
North Korea, Best Korea!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
