He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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